Happy Thursday,
The alternate title for this post is "What not to do at a Tri". The result of being in this sport for more than a decade (ok . . . . closer to 2 decades, but who is counting!) is that I have seen it all! Well, probably not all but enough to not take myself or the sport too seriously.
To be honest, I was really struggling this week to find a topic for the blog and then it hit me. . . don't be so serious! This post is dedicated to all of us who have had those embarrassing moments. What I am about to share is well documented in the lore of our sport. Some of these anecdotes may seem unbelievable but it either happened to me personally or I was there to witness. You may recognize a few of these gems and if you do, please post a response because as every cop knows, eye witnesses see different things!
My first bedtime story (it almost feels that way) occurred many years ago (in a land far, far away. . . kiddin') at a well known half-iron. I was volunteering in the transition area when an older guy (I like to call them F.O.G. - fast old guys) approaches me looking a bit confused. When you come upon the transition area where 700+ athletes are prepping, it can be very intimidating so I felt for the guy.
He said, "I need to rack my bike and I am not sure what to do, can you help?" "Sure", I said and then I looked at his ride. I don't want to overstate this but OMG he had a nice enough bike but attached to the seat post he had affixed balloons.. . . yes, you read correctly, balloons. Now I learned a long time ago to never judge a book, but balloons? I asked innocently, "Dude, why the balloons?"
"Well", he stated proudly, "I am using them to help me landmark my spot." I again, I digress. . . you can imagine how difficult it is to find your bike among the 700 other ones but then factor in how you feel when you exit the water after a 2 km swim, running and stripping and trying to find your ride. It is easy to lose your bearings only to wander around T1 looking like you are having a "senior moment"!! Many triathletes will trace their fastest path from the water to their bike or count the rows before the race so they know where to go. Our friendly F.O.G came up with a cool method of his own. The only thing he had to focus on was. . "find the balloons . . . find the balloons".
I helped him find his spot and then directed him to body marking. The one thing he didn't share with me was that this was his first triathlon. . .I figured it out later.
The swim went well as it usually does at this particular race. I was busy stripping wetsuits and generally trying to be helpful when I realized I hadn't seen 'balloon boy'. Often, newbies to triathlon will hang back during the swim as it can be very scary.
By the time, he exited the water, there were only two bikes left in transition. You guessed it. . . one with balloons and one without. I still smile when I remember the look on his face. It transitioned from embarrassment to amusement. There was not one volunteer who wasn't giggling by the time he mounted his bike to start his ride. I think of him whenever I see balloons floating away :)
Even experienced tri-gals mess up from time to time. One my good buddies, remaining nameless, decided she was the master multi-tasker and really wanted to share her race with her three kids. Obviously, the children weren't going to do the race with her so the mom had to figure out a solution. Walkie-Talkies!!! Yes, my friend carried one in her bento box on her bike and in a pocket on her back during the run. We could hear her during the ride, talking to her kids!! This worked great for most of the race. I can remember thinking I might try it at my next race until she told me what happened during the run . . . .
One reality of long distance, endurance racing is that normal bodily functions still occur. Hence, the need for . . . . port - o - potties. My crazy friend went into the loo, started to do her business only to realize that when she pulled up her tri-suit she lost her gels and the radios down the hole!!!! I don't know what she was more upset about: losing fuel or losing contact with loved ones. I actually felt sorry for the next person to use that bathroom. . . Can you imagine sitting then out of the blue, you hear "Hey Mom are you there?, over"
Ok, last ditty. . . I was racing at a half-iron man and it was early on in my 'career' so my agility on the bike was still in question. (Note to self: really practice clipping in and out of shoes) In most modern triathlons, they now have a mount and dismount line (more about this in future blogs). It is the place where you must get off your bike in order to walk (or run) to your rack in the transition area. There is usually an official at this line reminding athletes to mount and/or dismount. You can be disqualified for not doing it properly.
As I approached the dismount line, I heard the official say, "Dismount here" I started to unclip but to no avail. Remember that transition is a prime spectator spot and there had to have been 100 people watching the race as I came in. . . Still couldn't clip out. . . .panic sets in when I realize it is not happening. I knew that if I crossed the line still on my bike I would not get to finish so I stopped, Charlie Chaplin style and then just fell over. All I heard was two things: 1) Oohs from the crowd like they just saw a great punch in a boxing match (or MMA) and 2) the official coming over and saying "Oh, never mind, it is just Norma"
Enjoy the day!
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